Name Fear
Jennifer Lipski
Coach on YEA


When was the last time I walked barefoot in the grass?

Oh, I tell myself, I don’t have time.  

Maybe I am also worried about what I might step on or in.

Interesting...

 

When did I last feel the sun push through my skin into my muscles?

What do the trees say as they whisper in the wind?

What color is the sky right now?

Have I stopped long enough to listen to my own heart?

To whom is it that I am really listening?

 

This is an invitation for a party of ONE.

An invitation to myself to step away from the things that distract me.  

It is super easy--(isn’t it?)--to stay in the same place and in the same way.

To be “cookied” into my favorites at the press of one button. 

 

So, I am going to do one thing DIFFERENTLY today.

I will set down my phone.  Leave it behind. Go outside.

Is it too hot, too wet, too dry, too bright?  Good.

Is it too frenetic, too crowded, too empty, too much of everything?  Great.

I am going to notice all of this.  I am going to let myself BE UNCOMFORTABLE.  

 

When I do this, I notice an emotion starts to creep in.  

When I try to give it a name, 

It seeps in like smoke, 

and it calls itself 

<FEAR>

 

I want to run from it.  I want to run back inside to my happy cookies.

But staying in the same place all of the time lulls me into complacency.

It is the trickster of all tricksters.

 

Don’t be lazy, I remind myself.

 

In truth, this invitation to myself makes me feel a little upset somehow.

And yet, I am not sorry.

 

In fact, I now ask myself again:

When was the last time I walked barefoot in the grass?

When did I last feel the sun push through my skin into my muscles?

What do the trees say as they whisper in the wind?

What color is the sky right now?

Have I stopped long enough to listen to my own heart?

To whom is it that I am really listening?

 

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